Painting, Plotting & Sliding by the Seat of Your Pants

While submitting my completed novel, I'm working sporadically on another. They're different in more ways than one.

The novel under submission is a carefully plotted, quiet and sweet women's fiction. It tugs at the heartstrings, dealing with issues some might not find comfortable. I had been working on this book for a few years, sharpening my writing skills before attempting to finish it.

My work in progress is a fast paced mystery with a diverse cast of characters. I have a vague idea where the plot is going, but I'm basically closing my eyes and seeing where it takes me. Some characters jump into the spotlight, screaming for attention and others wait behind the curtain, hesitant to be revealed. Who will be the bad guy? Who will save the day? I dunno...

Compare writing to painting. You have your living room that needs to be prepped before you paint. Carefully fill in and sand all the nail holes, prime the surface and then choose your colour. Test it in all lighting to make sure it's not going to look like puke in the morning light. Tape off the edges and paint the edges in a straight line before using the roller for the middle areas. Roll in a W shape to prevent thin spots.

Excruciating, huh? But the end result will keep you satisfied for years to come. With the right accessories and window treatments, you'll have a serene haven in which to sip your green tea and contemplate the finer aspects of life.

Then there's the other kind of painting. Fill your palette with colours and stand before a blank canvas. You see something in your mind's eye, and you let fly the paint. Use brushes, spatulas and sponges to mix texture and colour in a way that brings out an image that only a few can see.

You step back and study the painting. Yes, there's something there. But a few elements are missing. You can't put your finger on it, but you lovingly add a tweak and a dash here and there. 

Eventually, you have a work of art that brings some to tears and others to question your sanity. But it's yours and you love it.

If you had to compare your novel to a painting, what would it be?

Sandra Cormier is the author of Bad Ice, a pantster novel.

Stupid Criminals in Need of a Career Change

My father always said that if someone is stupid enough to steal money they better make sure it’s millions, because they’re going to jail anyway. A criminal that should make a career change from crime in Panorama City, California gave a bank teller a note saying, “I have a gun. Give me all your twenties in this envelope.”

The teller said, “All I have is two twenties.”

The robber took them and left!

A Salem Oregon man reported to the police that someone had stolen some of his personal belongings. He listed that one of the missing items was an ounce of marijuana. A wanna-be-robber at Dunkin Donuts intent on stealing the cash register ran off with the adding machine instead.

An unsuspecting woman was standing on the street when a young man ripped her purse from her clutches. She then received a phone call from the man demanding a big reward for the return. She told him to wait at the pay phone he was at and she’d send someone over with the money. She sent the police. In addition to theft he was charged with extortion!

I must say my personal favorite criminal, that is probably making license plates for his career change, is the ex-con intent on robbing someone in New York’s Riverside Park. He pulled a fake handgun on two armed police officers in uniform!

Detective Leslie Bolt in my action thriller, Bolt Action would not have patience for the likes of these criminals. She is a Harley riding, tough talking investigator with a chip on her shoulder and working a serial murder case with her ex-lover doesn’t improve her disposition. Perhaps a couple of Harley’s, paint drumming to music, and a new romance can help Detective Bolt conquer her own demons from the past to solve the “State Quarter Case.”

Please visit my website www.victoriaroder.com to learn a little about me and read an excerpt of Bolt Action. Bolt Action is available through www.champagnebooks.com

FEGHOOTS

By: Angelica Hart and Zi

Angelica Hart and Zi are writers published by Champagne Books.

A: Tie a yelling gibbon around the old folk tree? (She looks at Zi as if forty-six million brain cells instantaneously escaped...wondering where is the hole)
Z: Feghoot! (As if a middle line backer for the Philadelphia Eagles, Zi tackles Mo the Lab)
A: Your owl's named Feg? (The obscurity of Angelica floats amidst the fact that her response was sort of a feghoot. She wants to preen and giggle but wonders what the heck is Zi doing with the dog)
Z: (Straddling the cur, facing its rear, tail slapping face, Zi tries to multi-task) Remember the Fractured Fairytales of Rocky and Bullwinkle? Many of our canard tales are a homage to that style. Parody. False tales. Stories. (He begins to clip his dog's rear toe nails. The dog inadvertently leaves foul air in the direction of Zi's nose. Zi concludes the groomer can clip the nails!)
A: Our new series THE FABLE OF SIN-SIN-CINDERELLA is feghoot filled, ribald and naughty funny.
Z: (About to bore with a long dissertation, Zi looks professorial) The parody blanketed in its feeble and oft ridiculous effort to imitate a style or part of another author's work for the purpose of comic effect has been a staple in writing. The idea of touching something others can connect to, yet poking that pointer finger at the ribs of the readers, why, to tickle, silly.
A: The following is a excerpt that points this out.... Did something crawl up inside that dog and die? (Swiggles up her nose resembling a chipmunk as she waves her hand in front of her face)


ON THE TAVERN FRONT

So three tankards more later, in hobbled a three-legged dog. Eartha did the double-take because it was carrying a gun. The first thought was one tankard too many, then she thought robbery and considered ducking under the bar, but thought better when she noticed Aladdin, owner of a carpet company, laying Rug. Poor Jasmine, she adored the guy, and Rug was enjoying Aladdin. He knew things.

The bartender, wearing a dirty torn t-shirt shouted, "This is a peaceful establishment."

"Woof," responded the dog. The dog sat near Eartha, still scouring the room, looking at each person, studying them.

Eartha asked, "What are doing here with that gun?"

(Note to reader, this is a fairytale so giving latitude to reality is essential.... 'kkkkkkaaaaaay!)

The dog replied in a country drawl, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
"A bowl of grog for my friend," ordered Eartha.

The keeper put the crock of suds on the floor, the tri-pod pooch lapped yet still surveyed the patrons.


A: (Grabs for a pen to make a note, it fails to inkificate [wordsmithing] itself, she discards the pen) There are many stories we all know. Many jokes that the punch line is apparent. Sometimes it is not the pay-off but the trip to that pay-off that can be entertaining. (Grabs a pen from one of ten cups of pens, it fails, discards, grabs another which fails)
Z: (Zi notices the three point shots by Angelia and surveys her discard, head in can, arse examining the ceiling fan, talking, sounds echo) Our model is that old joke where the punch line is they're the Aristocrats. If you are familiar with that joke it has virtually nothing to do with the punch. Every comedian who tries to tell it gives their own twist on the reason for the punch. (Rises with three pens in hand, echo ceases) Many of our tales are just that. It's all about the journey, that winding path full of detours, roadblocks, endless constructions, and delays. Once you reach the destination, the trip is over. Hmmmm, strange analogy on our part but we think it apt. (Puts the pens back in the cup unbeknownst to Angelica)
A: Wordy Wordsome from Wordville, Wordaware has just regaled us! (She grabs one of the retrieved pens, it fails, she heaves it into the can...sighs that cuss-replacing sigh)
Z: Ouuuucccch! That was a little cold. (Eyebrow, left, rose... [For clarification the eyebrow remained on the face, it was the left eyebrow] ...questioning her insistence on wastefulness)
A: You could have just said, these stories are sometimes called Shaggy Dog Stories or Feghoots. They are irreverent dances with inane frivolity, oft pointless and having absurd punch lines. The use of puns is almost a must.
Z: Smarty Smartypants from Smartytown, Smartconsin has re-frosted the cake.
A: Here's another excerpt. (She grabs a pencil...it was pointless...was about to throw it away when Zi sharpened it for her)


"Eartha, did you hear about the sex offender at Sir Lancelot's Home for the Criminally Insane and Snake Your Best Friend's Lady?"

"What?" She was pawed on her ample posterior, not by the cur, but by a drunk who was taking liberties. Beer brains. Or in this case grog brains, the medieval predecessor to beer brains. Well, Eartha the Pissed demonstrated why the nom, the Pissed, when she snatched the man's belt, he thinking he was about to get lucky, and chased him from the Pub, wiping his fleeing arse, oops, meant whipping his fleeing arse. She returned to her seat with a swagger in her step.

"Eartha...that was my best customer."

"Sorry. What about this sex offender?"

"He escaped."

"Oh!" Camelot was at least a three day trip by dragon, a fortnight by horse."

"The Daily Blab and Burp, our Pub blog, reports he went back to his old evil habits."
"Where?"

For one brief moment TB, the tender, though Eartha was going to seek the perv out, shook his head, and replied, "Here, you read the article." He turned the computer and there it was under the title, NUT BOLTS AND SCREWS.

Z: The afore was a play of words with Spooneristic styling as the design, many of our yarns are built in a like-lab that created Mr. Peabody's Improbable History.
A: Sherman was adorable.
Z: We hope you find our Groaners entertaining and maybe gently thought provoking. Zi pulls out the Staples catalogue to order refills for the pens)


We'd love to hear from anyone interested in what we do. Anyone who writes us at angelicahartandzi@yahoo.com and leaves an s-mail address, we will send you a gift and add you to any future mailings.


Angelica Hart and Zi
KILLER DOLLS
SNAKE DANCE
CHASING YESTERDAY
angelicahartandzi@yahoo.com
angelicahartandzi.com

KILLER DOLLS, CHASING YESTERDAY and SNAKE DANCE can be purchased at
Champagne Books
http://www.champagnebooks.com/

The Black Moment just got blacker

I just finished the sequel to On the Silver Edge of Time, my Viking time-travel and I was so excited. I'd set a goal for myself to finish before school and I accomplished my goal. After the high of success wore off a bit, something kept niggling at me. In fact, it kept me awake at night and I realized the ending wasn't quite right. I just couldn't really pinpoint why.

And then it hit me.

I tried to summarize my black moment, that scene where all hell breaks loose and the plot crescendos to a fever pitch and --- nothing. Nada. I'd managed to end my book without a black moment. Argggg. More sleepless nights and finally I figured out how to take away the one thing my heroine wanted most and still save the day. I'm still rewriting, but I'm close to finishing the manuscript yet again and this time hopefully with a more powerful conclusion.

I've read and enjoyed books that didn't really have a dramatic black moment, but they just don't have the same oomph as a book that does. The thing that keeps me reading and rereading books is the tension between hero and heroine. And when the tension builds until it finally explodes, the HEA seems just that much more satisfying. That's what I strive for when I write and that's what I look for in my favorite books.

So, what keeps you reading?  What element do you like best in the books you read?

Story of my life as a writer

Recently, I was asked to write the 'story of your life as a writer'. I thought about how I started to write, just when I began to put ideas down on paper and why. And why I write fiction.

I did a lot of reminiscing and I came to what was for me, a bit of a startling revelation. Early in my life, I was into 'pretend'. I thought all children did that sort of thing, but as I look back on the behavior of my own children, I realized, maybe I was a bit different.

I remember digging through the 'old fashioned' clothing my mother had collected from several long dead relatives. My sister and I would dress up and pretend. I made up the story and my poor sister had to go along with me. After all, I was the oldest. The same was true when we spent time on my grandparents farm. I distinctly remember attempting to build a covered wagon out of an old garden cart to 'pretend' we were traveling west
just like the stories we heard about the early pioneers. Again, my brother and sisters were forced to go along with my plans.

So, I guess my adventure into fiction was preordained years ago. Something else contributed to my desire to write. I loved books. I was already reading a book. I read everyone one of the books in my grandparents' bookshelves before I got to high school.
As kids, we went to the library once a week, and we could borrow as many books as we wanted. Perhaps the need to escape younger sisters and my brother contributed to my need to read, but I doubt it. Those early books fed my imagination. I loved being able to immerse myself in another time, or another place.

It's no wonder then, that I turned to writing fiction when I knew I had to write. And that's another thing. I knew I had to write. There are so many quotes from famous authors about how they had to write. It's something you have to do. I understand that sentiment completely. I also think I know why I picked fiction. As for writing romances, I guess I'll just have to admit that I'm a true romantic. I've been known to cry while reading a sad book, I get all choked up during some movie scenes no matter how often I've seen them. Even a good piece of music will set the tears falling. And I don't like a book with a sad ending. I feel let done, unsatisfied. Even with a mystery or a murder story, for me the bad guy has to get caught.

Okay, so I've got to write, I know why I write fiction and why I like happily-ever-after endings. So, let me know why you write what you write. I'd love to hear.

Paper or Plastic?

Jude Johnson here. another new blogger and author with Champagne Books. This is a crazy time in my life. My only child starts college on Monday. As this is posted, I'm helping him get settled into a dorm room hundreds of miles from home. And for the first time in our educational experience, his Biology 101 class materials are on a required reader.

 

I'll be interested to see what this "University Reader" looks like and what its capabilities are.  The class syllabus was quite specific that the materials are already loaded and not transferable to commercial readers such as Sony or Kindle. We still don't know if it allows additional downloads of ebooks or papers, but the fact this was a required purchase is an indication more institutions are incorporating paperless technology into their curricula. However, I must point out that the $135 list price textbook was still mandatory, as traditional texts were for all his other courses. (Three cheers for Chegg.com and used booksellers - huzzah!)

An analogy (and a good one, actually) has been made that what iPod did for the music, readers will do for books. I certainly hope not - at least, not to the extent that downloadable music destroyed free-standing music retailers. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about ebook publication as a viable and exploding market - but I don't think writers should totally abandon print.

Books have been treasures preserved in some form or another for millennia: clay tablets, papyrus scrolls, hand-illustrated parchment, type-set newsprint, and laser-jet printed paper stand the test of time because they need no gadgets to be viewed. They have been traded and resold, often increasing in value with age and rarity. A book is a sensory experience: the smell of leather or glue, paper, and ink; the weight in your hands and texture of the cover; the vibrant colors of the artwork or the peculiarity of the font; the sound of pages turning, opening doors into other worlds.
 

Ebooks are but one aspect of an author’s market—a growing and exciting one, to be sure, but we should be willing to consider the larger picture. Not everyone has a reader, just as not every person on the planet has an iPod/iPhone. A large portion of Earth’s population has limited or no accessibility to electricity. But ink on paper can be read anywhere there is some source of light, be it the sun, the moon, the candle, or the fireplace. 

Tombstone, Arizona (I'm on the right)

One of the best selling points of print for fans is getting an autographed/ personalized book. I haven't seen any way to do that for ebooks - yet. I'm sure someone will devise an ingenious method to encrypt a signature in the near future, but until then, book signings are still fun opportunities to connect with people. I guess I'm just a ham, because I always have a grand time, especially when I can dress up. Like every author, I've had signings with few sales (or none) but even a quiet signing beats cleaning house any day!

A paperback passed from hand to hand can transform a life.  I independently published my first historical adventure/romance novel, Dragon & Hawk, in print. I am thrilled and humbled at the number of people who have emailed or come up to me at an event to tell me a "friend of a friend" passed a copy to them and they were buying one for their own collection. I can hardly wait to tell my newer online friends when they can get an ebook version because Champagne Books has graciously chosen to e-publish it. (Thank you again, Ellen.) How exciting to think my story will be now available to an expanded market at the click of a mouse! And ebooks have wondrous features for folks with impaired vision.

Marketing a book is like playing golf: Your ebook release is a Big Bertha driver, launching your work way down the fairway. Print books are the short game: wedge and putter to get you closer to your ultimate objective of sinking the ball into the hole -  aka making a memorable impact on the reader. Each club, each format - each market - helps you navigate the entire course. Don't limit yourself to only the driving range or the putting green.

When a friend or relative balks at purchasing your ebook, they may simply be leery of technology. They still want to read your work. Encourage them to ask their techno-savvy friends to download the ebook so your publisher will be encouraged to publish the print edition. Then promise that if they get their entire book club to place an order, you’re available to speak and autograph as many as they’d like. Once there, you can explain how readers work and plug your next ebook release.

So, is it Paper or Plastic? How about both?

The first novel in my historical adventure/romance series Dragon & Hawk, about Welsh immigrants in nineteenth century Arizona, is set for a Big Bertha tee-time/ebook release by Champagne Books in April 2011.

My Website: ScorchedHawkPress.com

You Want Me to What? Working With an Editor

Writing a book is one of the most enjoyable experiences I've had. But, as with most things, there are aspects of completing the work that are less enjoyable. For example, I enjoy my work as a social worker. The paperwork, however, makes me want to scream at times. As writers, getting the story onto paper (or into the computer) is only the beginning. We then enter into the process of critiquing, rewriting, editing, rewriting....

When my first book was published, I looked forward to the editing process with anticipation. It was one more step toward becoming a 'real' writer, one of the benchmarks I'd set for myself. I received my manuscript with a note from the editor--she liked my story, but... Then I scanned all the red notations in my book. It looked as though she'd slit a major artery! She had noted that these were 'suggestions' and that it was up to me to decide what I wanted to change and what I left as I'd originally written.

I did the math on this one. I was a first-time author--green. She was a seasoned editor. I seriously considered every suggestion and accepted all but one. And it paid off.

An editor gives your manuscript a fresh, first look. She or he has not been immersed in your story for months ad nauseum. The editor can give your book a completely objective review and not only find the little nits you've missed, but will view your story in its entirety, assess its readability, plot consistency, and your characters' likability.

A good editor will improve your already perfect (in your mind, at least) manuscript. A seasoned, talented, professional editor is worth his or her weight in gold. She will oft times save you from yourself.

I've been asked what you do if you don't feel you can work with the editor assigned to you or if you don't feel the editor is doing justice to your book. I don’t think this happens often, but it can happen. The first thing I would do is dialogue with the editor about my concerns. If the problem can't be resolved, take your concern to the next level, be that a senior editor or the publisher. But be reasonable and professional. Sometimes a change can be made that will create a better fit with you and for your manuscript. When we treat one another with respect and as professionals, most things can be resolved by talking it through.

My advice: When you have a good editor, give her suggestions serious consideration. Read the text from her perspective. And don't be defensive. If you don't like a particular suggestion or choose not to change something, simply say so and clarify your reason for leaving things as they are. An editor is a valuable tool, but she's also a human being. Treat her as such and nurture the relationship. If she's good at what she does, she will make your manuscript shine!

Happy writing!

Linda Rettstatt
http://www.lindarettstatt.com/